The Safety of Home: Benefits of Online Marriage Counseling

Home is supposed to be your safe place – a place for mental, physical, and spiritual connection and rejuvenation. Home is not about the size of your bedrooms or if you have a walk-in closet, it is about the memories made and the choice to continue moving forward even when all odds seem stacked against you. Home is not about the style or price tag of your décor; it is more about creating a place where memories are made and etched in your heart and mind forever.

“Where we love is home – home that our feet may leave, but not our hearts.” – Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr.

Home should be a sacred space:

• A place to physically connect with your spouse
• A place to emotionally unload to your spouse
• A place for giggles and dancing around in the kitchen as you make waffles on Saturday morning
• A place for slow dancing with your spouse once the children are in bed
• A place to greet your spouse with a kiss when they walk in the door from a long, stressful day
• A place for bubble baths and candle-lit dinners
• A place for praying as a couple and as a family
• A place where you cheer on your children through the milestones of life
• A place where you celebrate your spouse as their dreams come to fruition
• A place for holiday traditions that your children will hold in their hearts forever
• A place where you and your spouse wait up together as your child returns from their first prom and can’t wait to tell you everything that happened

Families go through seasons of financial stress, marital stress, grief, and work burnout, which can take a physical and emotional toll on you and your marriage. Agapi Stassinopoulos said, “The world can only seem a safe place when we feel safe inside.”

It is important to work on your relationships at home to ensure that home is a safe place to express your emotions, talk about your struggles, and connect with God and your spouse on a deeper level. This is the foundation of thriving in all areas of your life.

How to Make Sure Your Home is Thriving, Not Surviving

Here are a few ideas to put into practice to ensure that your home is thriving rather than merely surviving:

Create an authentic home environment.

After a long, difficult day, couples need a safe space to run to. A place to unwind and just be. Home should be a place where you grow together. It should be a place where you can admit when you are feeling defeated, struggling with anxiety, or combating childhood trauma. Home needs to be a place where you can remove the masks and the facades and feel free to express your emotions on a deeper level.

Consider online marriage counseling as “upkeep” for your marriage rather than a last resort.

Just as you have regular doctor appointments and checkups, online marriage counseling could also be considered as upkeep for your marriage. Marriage counseling can be a routine appointment to ensure that communication is effective and flourishing and to have guidance as you work through major life decisions and changes.

Prayer and counseling are enormously powerful weapons to ensure that your marriage is receiving the proper nutrients to grow and thrive. It was once said that “Prayer is your first and most powerful weapon when fighting for your marriage.”

Take opportunities to invest in your marriage.

It was once said that “The more you invest in your marriage, the more valuable it becomes.” Just as we like to invest in our homes to see the value rise, we must also invest in our marriages. A marriage thrives when you spend quality time together, laugh, and are silly, continue to date, and take the mundane opportunities to show your spouse just how much you love and appreciate them.

• Never underestimate the power of a surprise love note in a lunchbox.
• Never underestimate the power of choosing to workout together or pray together after a long day.
• Never underestimate the power of a morning snuggle before the day gets away from you.
• Never underestimate the power of sitting together on the back deck as you sip your coffee and watch the sunrise.
• Never underestimate the power of saying “I love you” every chance you get.
• Never underestimate the power of choosing your marriage over the temptations of this world.

The more you invest in your spouse, the more your bond grows. When your bond is strong and communication is open, it will help you weather the storms of life together.

Communication is an overlooked power tool in your marriage

Communication is the key to solving the different struggles you will face in life and on your marriage journey. When things are difficult, when you feel distant, when you feel alone, and when you are struggling with forgiveness – communication is the first step to work through each of the struggles. Lysa TerKeurst said it so well, “God doesn’t want me to be a “fix him” wife. God wants me to be a “love him” wife.”

Regardless of what your marriage journey has been thus far, today may be the fresh start you need to accept and choose healing from the past. Today can be the start of a thriving marriage journey – one that says “I love you” constantly, one that forgives easily, one that offers grace when the other least expects it. The marriage relationship is a prime example of the kind of forgiveness Christ offers us daily.

Be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you. – Ephesians 4:32

Take the next steps to invest in your marriage

Today, I want to challenge you to take a few simple steps to invest in your marriage:

1. Pray for your spouse and with your spouse. Even when our marriage brings us to our knees, it is often the best place to be. Marriage can humble you and usher you into God’s presence, which will only strengthen your relationship with Christ and with your spouse.
2. Do something simple today to show your spouse just how much you love and appreciate them. Sneak a love note on the bathroom mirror or a cute note in their lunchbox. Send them a random text message when they least expect it about how much you love and appreciate them. Sometimes the simplest acts can have the greatest impact.
3. Ensure that you are speaking life to and about your spouse. We must feed the right behaviors and thoughts rather than those that can sabotage our relationship. We mustn’t go to the wrong people for marriage advice, ones who may encourage us to talk negatively about or veer us away from our spouse. This will only bring pain and turmoil to your heart and relationship.
4. Schedule your marriage tune-up today. Just as we schedule regular maintenance to keep our cars running, marriages need the same tender love and care. Online marriage counseling may be a good option to ensure that your relationship is thriving, healthy communication is flowing, and that you are weathering the storms of life together.
5. Do everything out of love for your spouse. 1 Corinthians 16:14 says “Do everything in love.” If you are picking up your spouse’s dirty sock, rather than get frustrated, do it with love. If you are making your spouse dinner, do it with love. If you are folding their laundry or trying to open up about something that has been bothering you, do it with love. Doing even the simplest or most frustrating things in love can go a long way to see our relationships continue to flourish.

Just remember – you can work on your marriage wherever you are – home is when you grow and thrive together, and it is the best place to be.

Consider Online Marriage Counseling as Upkeep for Your Marriage

Online marriage counseling may be a good fit for your marriage and your schedule. Online marriage counseling offers convenience and comfort for all involved. Online marriage counseling can also be a great way to begin your counseling journey. It may be a great option for a regular marriage check-in or to provide the ease of being in the comfort of your safe space at home.