How to Find Hope in Hopeless Situations

There are many moments in life that can feel hopeless and lost, moments that threaten to steal all of one’s joy, lock it up, and throw away the key. Hopelessness arrives on the scene in many types of situations, but it is possible to find hope in those places.

One should be able to see that things are hopeless and yet be determined to make them otherwise. This philosophy fitted on to my early adult life, when I saw the improbable, the implausible, often the “impossible,” come true. – F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Crack Up

Here is Merriam-Webster’s definition of hopeless:

1. Having no expectation of good or success. Not susceptible to remedy or cure. Incapable of redemption or improvement.

2. Giving no reason to expect good or success: giving no ground for hope. Incapable of solutions, management, or accomplishment.

Hopelessness is a dark place to be, a place where no light seems to fight through, a place where energy runs dry, and giving up feels like the only way. What situations bring on this feeling?

Situations That Often Lead to Hopelessness

Severe Illness

Though sickness and pain entered the world with the fall of man in Genesis 3, some have to face it in much more difficult ways. When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness or an incurable autoimmune disease or a life-threatening condition, there are often these internal beliefs that form in his or her mind that say, “There is no hope. There is no way out of this. I am dying or destined to live miserably. I will never be the same or be able to live the life I hoped to live.”

Long-lasting Mental Illness

There is a reality in this life that God can heal in miraculous ways. He can bring someone out of a debilitating season of depression or anxiety. He can break the chains of childhood trauma and the effects it takes on the body and the mind. He can restore a person who has been struggling with addiction. He can, and he does it often.

However, the path he chooses for healing does not always look the way it seems it should. Some people suffer from depression for years, wondering why it won’t go away. Some people continue to relapse, wondering if they will ever get better.

The difference between severe physical illness and severe mental illness is where someone places the blame. Physical illness can seem hopeless because it is a reminder that death is an inevitable part of life. Mental illness brings this unnamed shame upon its victims.

They believe that it is their fault, or that they are “doing enough” to overcome it. Something in them believes that God can heal their bodies, but they try to take mental healing upon themselves.

Broken Relationships

Divorce, betrayal, abuse, neglect, and abandonment are all ways that relationships can be broken. There are many other ways they can be broken, but these five in particular can be devastating for people. Trust is lost. Hurt is coupled with love. People fear that all relationships are like this. They fear they cannot trust again or open their heart to another. They think all people are malicious or dishonest, and they pull away from relationships because this pain is too much to have repeated.

No Change

Hopelessness also enters in smaller ways. When a woman asks her spouse to spend more time with her, but he ends up in his cycle of neglecting their relationship again and again. This could come up when a friend asks her friend to invite her to social gatherings, but her friend continues to forget.

This could happen in the workplace, where someone’s pay is not changing, or the toxic environment remains. Another example is if a parent sees the same harmful behavior from their child despite any discipline or hard conversations.

These situations can lead a person to believe that change is not possible, and they begin to lower their expectations and settle for less-than-desirable outcomes. Is hope possible when it feels so out of reach? The answer of course is yes.

Merriam-Webster also defines hope: to expect with confidence.

“I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world, you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33, ESV) Hard experiences are promised. Christians are not promised a pain-free life, but hope comes because Jesus has overcome it all. Jesus is hope. Here are some tangible ways to find hope in hopeless situations:

How to Find Hope in Hopeless Situations

Practice Daily Gratitude

One’s terminal illness may not go away, and her depression may not lift, but hope is not contingent upon the situation getting better. It is found only in the person of Jesus. It is possible to rebirth a hope that is lost with gratitude. Gratitude is a proven method of improving one’s life.

One can create a gratitude journal to keep up with things she is thankful for. Another idea is to simply add it to prayer time or journaling. Find one thing daily of which you are grateful. Write it down and speak it out loud.

Find the Light

Situations can look dark, but there is always light to be found. Consider what is good about your situation. If your divorce has brought you closer to Jesus, that is one good thing. If your illness has forced you to rest, that is a good thing. If the sun warms your face when you’ve been feeling low, that warmth is a good thing. Always be looking for the good.

Make Prayer and Scripture Reading a Priority

Since Jesus is our hope, then it is imperative to be intentional about spending time with Him in prayer and the word. Pray a psalm a day and see what kind of hope fills you. Memorize a scripture every week and write it somewhere you can see it often. Do a Bible study. Set aside three prayer times a day that can be short or long. Be honest with God about how you are feeling. Let Him fill your mind with truth.

Spend Time with Your People

Hopelessness loves isolation. Don’t allow yourself to become isolated in despair. It will only grow. Share with your close friends and loved ones about your struggle. Let them love you in those vulnerable moments.

Schedule a date night to have fun and laugh with your spouse. Plan a guy’s weekend to get away with your friends. Grab a coffee or go to dinner. Go on a hike or a bike ride with others. Just be with them. Let their hope be your anchor.

Do Something Kind for Another

There is not much that is more effective for gaining a new perspective than serving someone else. Who in your life needs something from you? A friend who is going through a hard time may appreciate you bringing her some coffee. A sibling lost his spouse and would love you to sit with him a while.

A coworker is going through a divorce and could use some encouragement. Look around you, not just within you. Looking around can shed light on one’s own experience and bring hope that things may not get better, but they can feel better.

Seek Therapy

When hope feels too far gone, check in with a counselor to process it all on a deeper level. A counselor could provide a perspective you had not considered yet. Hope is not out of reach. Jesus has overcome the world and its tribulations.

He is trustworthy, honest, kind, and faithful. He has not forgotten you, and he will not abandon you. Life feels unbearable at times, but look around. Find something to be grateful for, something that is good. Look for Jesus. He is there. Link arms with your people; they are there to support you. May hope find you once more.