How to Ask for Forgiveness Sincerely

We all know that we should forgive others and ask forgiveness when we have wronged others. After all, God has given us that directive and shown us by example just how powerful forgiveness can be. We can apologize and try to restore relationships that have gone wrong, but unless we approach it with authenticity and sincerity, the “I’m sorry” may fall flat.

Here are a few suggestions on how you can make your apologies authentic and present them in a sincere way, so they are received.

Only apologize for what you’re sincerely sorry for

Have you ever been in a situation where someone feels wronged, but you aren’t truly sorry for what you did or said? You know that a simple, “I’m sorry” might help the other person feel better about the situation and you, but you’re just not feeling it. Don’t give an empty apology for something you don’t sincerely regret.

If you still want to make amends with that person, have an honest conversation, not one that is charged with accusations or is defensive, but a true, heart-to-heart. Apologize only for what you can sincerely apologize for.

Maybe you ignored your best friend’s phone call because you were out to dinner with your spouse. Now she’s angry and snaps at you and you snap back. She’s expecting an apology, but you aren’t sorry for prioritizing your spouse, only that you said some unkind things in your frustration. In order to remain sincere, only apologize for your unkind reaction, not the fact that you didn’t answer her call.

Don’t add “but” when asking for forgiveness

Don’t be a “but” head about your apology. Avoid apologies that include a justification. “I’m sorry but I was stressed” is a watered-down apology and may be interpreted as disingenuous. That’s not to say that you can’t offer a reasonable explanation for your harsh words or unthoughtful actions. It just means that your priority should be in offering a sincere, unconditional apology.

If you want to explain your position or side of the story, you can, but don’t allow your explanation to sound more like a justification than a genuine attempt to make amends.

Ask what they need

Follow your apology by asking what the other person needs. “What can I do to fix this or make this right with you?” is the perfect way to help your relationship mend and strengthen as you go forward.

As humans we are wired to seek fairness, especially when we’ve been hurt. That’s why it is powerful to ask someone how you can make things right with them. It gives them the chance, the power if you will, to express what they need from you in order to feel valued and respected again. Psychologically, it allows their brain to restore balance because they feel heard, and they are given the opportunity to control the resolution.

Getting Help with How to Ask for Forgiveness

If you are struggling in a relationship, it might be beneficial to speak with a professional therapist. In therapy you can sort through your emotions and practice apologizing effectively. A sincere apology is the foundation for rebuilding trust and the intimacy in your relationship. If your apology is heartfelt and truly aimed at making amends, it can be the first step in restoring harmony.

If you would like to speak with a therapist, contact our offices today. We can make an appointment for you with a skilled therapists in our practice. Begin the healing journey today!