Encouragement for Walking Alongside a Depressed Husband

In its early stages, the clues that you have a depressed husband may be subtle. Just small, out-of-character changes such as pulling away from you, a loss of pleasure in things he used to enjoy, or seeming to be more irritable or edgy than normal can indicate depression in men.

Ways you can support your depressed husband

Don’t take it personally

Being depressed can be scary and hard to talk about. Don’t take your spouse’s actions personally. He is not acting the way he does intentionally and needs all the support you can give. Let him know that you love him, that you are there for him and available whenever he wants to talk, and that you will face this challenge together,

Educate yourself

A depressed husband needs a lot of unconditional support and love. Learning all you can about depression and how it plays out on a day-to-day basis will make it easier for you to realize what your spouse is going through. It will also help you avoid relationship issues resulting from misinterpreting things and/or lack of understanding.

Validate his feelings

Depression may alter your spouse’s ability to express himself clearly and make it difficult for him to articulate what he is feeling. Even if you don’t understand, refrain from minimizing his experience. Listening to him with empathy, and validating his thoughts and feelings, can provide a great sense of comfort and relief.

Encourage him to get professional help

Depression is a serious mental health disorder, but it can be successfully treated with modern medications and therapy.

Do small things together

Encourage your spouse to regularly do small things with you, even if it’s as simple as taking a walk, going for a bike ride, preparing a meal, or watching a movie together.

Take care of yourself

Don’t feel guilty about making self-care a priority. You need to take care of yourself to make sure your tank is full enough for you to be able to provide your spouse with the support he needs. Deep sorrow and anxiety can be infectious, and if you aren’t prepared, you may develop symptoms of depression as well.

Pray for him

Interceding for your depressed husband when you are feeling helpless to help is a way of loving him. Pray also for strength for yourself, as well as God’s guidance as to how best to respond to your spouse, and His grace to get you through every situation you face.

Don’t say things that make him feel worse

Don’t tell your depressed husband to snap out of it or look at the bright side, don’t preach at him, or question how he could possibly be depressed with all the blessings in his life.

Depression involves changes in brain chemistry that cannot just be thought away. It is not a character flaw or a choice, and trying to push your spouse to pull himself together and get over it can be frustrating and upsetting, and make him feel worse about himself than he already does.

Christian counseling for depression

Christian counseling for depression involves a combination of conventional clinical interventions, biblical principles, and prayer. Along with helping your spouse learn how to cope with his or her symptoms and equipping you to come alongside him during the recovery process, a Christian counselor can help you focus on your identity in Christ and God’s great love for you and your spouse.

If you would like to set up an appointment with one of the faith-based counselors at Westlake Christian Counseling, please give us a call.