8 Signs Your Husband is Cheating

Relationships are complicated and that complication doesn’t go away just because you say, “I do.” While Hollywood and Hallmark would like us to believe that true romance never dies and that love lasts forever, the reality is that sometimes relationships don’t work out the way you had envisioned and hoped.

Maybe you’re in that position right now. You’re in a marriage that looks more like a nightmare than a fairytale. The truth is, infidelity does happen, which is why many wives find themselves searching for clues to see if their husbands are being unfaithful to them.

As a wife, you might get that weird feeling when your husband’s behavior shifts, or your relationship dynamic is not what it used to be. There are many reasons, far too many to list, that could be the source of the behavior change. Is he tired? Is he working too many hours? Is he worried about finances? Is he having an affair?

Before you panic, just because you see signs of infidelity, doesn’t mean that your partner is cheating on you. There are hundreds of explanations as to why someone may have a shift in behavior. But any change may be worth examining more thoroughly to rule out the possibility of infidelity.

8 Signs Your Husband is Cheating

Let’s look at some of the possible signs that your husband is cheating in more detail.

Finding Unfamiliar Items in Their Car

If you find unfamiliar items in your husband’s vehicle, such as receipts or gifts, it may be a sign that he is seeing someone else romantically. Clues found accidentally while borrowing or cleaning his car often stand out because they are unfamiliar to you and seem out of the norm.

A receipt from a restaurant that he hasn’t mentioned, a gift that you didn’t give (or receive), or personal items like an unfamiliar earring can all be red flags. These things may seem minor (and may have legitimate reasons for being there), but if his explanation for their existence is vague, inconsistent, or overly defensive, it may be a sign that there is an issue.

Strange or Out-of-Character Scents

Have you ever leaned in for a hug and caught a whiff of something unfamiliar? Smelling unfamiliar scents like perfume that is not yours, cologne, or body lotion can be one of the most unsettling signs of infidelity. These scents are often subtle but often unmistakable, especially if your partner doesn’t normally wear fragrances.

A whiff of perfume on their clothing or in their car can be easily dismissed as innocent, but if it becomes a recurring pattern, it might mean that your husband is spending a significant amount of time in close proximity to someone else.

Another sign could be if your husband comes home smelling of smoke or if his breath indicates that he has eaten something unusual. These signs could indicate that he has spent time with someone or at a place out of the ordinary and in secrecy.

Lipstick Stains or Unfamiliar Clothing in His Possession

Finding lipstick on a collar isn’t just a cliché’, it’s a heart-stopping moment for some wives. Few signs are more blatant than finding physical evidence like lipstick stains or other makeup smears on items of clothing. A smudge of lipstick on a shirt collar, stray hair, or an article of clothing left in his car is hard to explain away.

While there could be an innocent explanation for this happening (maybe his sister brushed his collar as she came in for a hug), finding concrete, physical evidence of another woman can be shocking for a wife, especially when the explanation comes with a side of defensiveness.

Receiving Messages or Calls from Unknown Numbers

Receiving frequent messages or calls from numbers that you don’t recognize can be a clear sign of secrecy. An occasional unknown number could simply be spam or a wrong call, but repeated occurrences, especially if the messages are being read or replied to in private shouldn’t be ignored.

To circumvent this happening, some men may use an alias, pet name, male name, or even a familiar name as the contact information for their romantic interest. So, even if a familiar name pops up on his phone, it is wise to keep an eye on any unfamiliar activity. And if your husband is unwilling to explain who is contacting him or if he starts deleting messages and call logs, it suggests that he is indeed hiding something.

Unexplained Signs of Physical Closeness

Physical marks like scratches or bruises that your husband can’t explain can be concerning. Accidents happen; recurring or out-of-the-ordinary injuries, however, especially ones that could result from intimate physical contact, may be worth questioning. Scratches on your husband’s back or shoulders could indicate an interaction that he isn’t willing to disclose to you.

Frequent Mentions of an “Old Flame”

Nostalgia can be harmless, but when your husband suddenly brings up an old flame or someone, they have had a crush on, it can feel like a warning sign. It might be harmless, especially if he’s mentioned this person before.

However, repeated mentions, excessive enthusiasm about their conversations or vague details about how often they’re in contact with each other could be a signal of a deeper connection. People often rekindle emotional bonds before they turn into something more physical. If your husband is nostalgic about his ex-girlfriend or embraces familiar relationships, it could indicate that he is struggling with temptations to reconnect with elements of his past.

Obsession with Privacy

Everyone needs personal boundaries and space, but a sudden and extreme need for privacy can be a red flag. If your husband starts bringing his phone into the bathroom with him or always keeps an eye on it, he could be trying to hide something from you.

Pick up his phone, even if it’s just to hand it to him, and see how he reacts. If he is defensive, says you are overstepping your boundaries, or seems agitated, he is likely hiding something. Also, pay attention to changed passwords and if he starts limiting his audience on social media.

Unexplained Mileage on the Car

Not many people keep a close eye on the mileage of their spouse’s vehicle, but if you suspect that your husband is cheating on you, it might be worth keeping track of how many miles he drives per week. His odometer might well tell a story that he hasn’t shared with you.

Extra miles driven without a clear reason or a tank of gas disappearing faster than normal may indicate that your husband is driving out of town so that he won’t be discovered by you or your social circle. Maybe it is time to ask your husband to share his location with you on his phone.

What to Do Next

Trust is what holds a marriage together. If you’re seeing signs that make you feel uneasy, it’s important to address them, not just to uncover the truth, but to understand what’s really happening in your relationship. Behavior changes don’t always mean infidelity, but they do mean that something is going on.

Don’t ignore your instincts, and don’t be afraid to have honest conversations. If you feel ill-equipped to have this conversation with your husband, it is wise to seek professional help. A therapist can role-play with you so you can practice having the conversation, offer you emotional support, and share insights as to why your husband may be behaving in a troublesome way.

God is a God of healing and restoration. He loves you and loves your husband and wants to repair and bless your marriage. If you discover that your husband is being unfaithful, seek couples’ counseling with a Christian therapist who can prayerfully help guide you and your spouse back to the Lord and each other. Call our office today for more information.